Men, don’t underestimate the power you have to awaken a woman’s soul, desire, growth and love.
I remember sitting before Jason. We hadn’t known each other long and we were in those first days of lust and infatuation.
“I don’t know what this is?” He had said. “I can’t see how we can work. I guess I need to know that you are ok to jump into the abyss with me, the total unknown, taking each day at a time”
I had been immersed in Eckhart Tolle’s ‘Power of Now’ book for weeks before I met him. Jason was seeking a Jewish, Sydney based bachelorette. I was a Melbourne based, non Jewish, mother of a 4 year old.
Each day with him was a death and a rebirth. I cried a lot; In ecstasy and in pain, I laughed a lot and I orgasmed – A LOT!
One day I said to him “this is the purest love I’ve known, it’s a “pointless”, agenda-less love”.
He Awakened me to the beginnings of surrender and non-attachment.
Jason was my Guru.
Then there was Rory.
Rory was in love with me…besotted, is probably a better description. He was also my therapist. I watched him do his best, as he wrestled with a code of ethics that he had vowed to adhere to. Walking the fine line between authenticity and professionalism. Obviously we stopped sessions.
We decided to be friends whilst he ‘worked it out’. Eventually, after he soul searched he said “I have to choose my life’s mission over you, I have to be someone that people can trust”
Rory awakened integrity in me by modelling it himself.
Rory was my Guru.
Phoenix…. He was something else. I was closed and protected when I met him. I was keeping all men at bay. I secretly feared men, distrusting them, turning them into the enemy. But Phoenix was different? He wanted me, but he didn’t want anything from me. … and so, I couldn’t manipulate him. He was too self possessed and too smart.
He managed to break through all my barriers and walls, and when he would touch my hand or my shoulder or my knee, my vagina would engorge and I’d feel watery, and I’d forget time or where I was and everything inside me would scream ‘YES please’. And I felt so safe with him even though he gave me nothing to hold onto.
He awakened the woman in me, my desires my longings.
Phoenix was my Guru
Patrick. Patrick stared straight into my soul and saw the wounded little girl in me. He fiercely loved and protected her. He called forward all her wounds and pain and mess and loved her, not in spite of her, but because of her. He always encouraged her to speak, he never made her wrong. He courageously stood in the fire of all of my ‘tests’. I had never felt that wholly loved.
The little girl within released so much of the shame she had carried for being wounded. I feel in love with her too, through being allowed to be her. ‘Too needy’, ‘too attached’, ‘grumpy’, ‘terrified’, ‘rage-ful’, ‘grief-ful’, ‘ridiculous’, ‘insecure’. No part was ever rejected.
And as she grew in trust she matured. He loved and healed me whole.
He awakened deep healing and self trust within me
Patrick was my Guru.
Then there was this little boy. He liked to break things, and wrestle and win and tell silly jokes and play dinosaurs. I couldn’t control him but I couldn’t let him get away with shit either.
I love him more than I ever imagined loving was possible before he came along.
I’ve had to give up my agenda for him, whilst following my heart.
I’ve had to learn firm disciplined love whilst respecting his individuality.
He awakened responsibility, devotion and authority in me.
Seth is my Guru.
Each man, each masculine being, leaving behind a new lesson, a new awakening.
Men, don’t underestimate the power you have to awaken and heal the women in your life. Through your truth. Through your love. Through your boundaries. Through your courage. Through your hands. Through you heart. Through your cock. Through your own masculine glory and your own feminine magic.
Awakening Women is a training for men to dive deep into understanding and loving women.